Skiver

I skipped church this morning – I had loads that needed doing. Still, I took down the shelves that needed taking down, and I got the wheels (complete with new tyres) back on the caravan: I did some reading that had to be done, and now I’m online sorting out some emails that I should’ve dealt with a week ago: And no, I haven’t forgotten the wedding website that’s still outstanding.

But I did find some time to watch most of the Grand Prix this afternon, and it gave me an idea: One of the reasons why manufacturers support F1 teams is that the cutting-edge technology needed for a Grand Prix car contributes to the development of new features – especially safety features – on road cars. So, to make it more realistic, I suggest the following changes to the Formula One rules for next year:

  1. If a car breaks down or crashes, it should have to stay where it is while the driver runs to a roadside phone and calls the RAC. Meanwhile, all the other drivers will cause massive tailbacks by slowing down and staring stupidly at the wreckage
  2. Instead of mega-fast pitstops, drivers should have to re-fuel self service: Then they should have to get out of the car and go into the pit building to pay – which of course would mean waiting while an uninterested teenager finishes texting her best mate San, and teaching her how the credit card terminal works
  3. Similarly, tyre changes should require the driver to get out, jack the car up and do it themselves: For extra verisimilitude, they should wander around scratching their heads and wondering where the manufacturers have hidden the tool kit

I wonder how many of my ideas they’ll use?

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