Today I went to the Big City – it was very exciting! First I went on the train, and guess what – they’re not powered by steam any more! I spent the whole trip with my nose pressed against the window – not to watch the scenery going past, although I haven’t travelled that fast since I drove McClafferty’s tractor off the old quarry edge – but because once I started there wasn’t room to move. One of the people on the train tried to pick my pocket – he got a real surprise when he got the mouse nest I’d taken from old Jacob’s scarecrow!

Once I got to the Big City – or “The Smoke”, as us regulars call it – I walked around for AAAGES looking at busses, taxis, cars and all the people: I haven’t seen so many people in one place since free cider night at the Rat and Ferret. Nearly everyone was much more smartly dressed than me, even though I’d put clean trousers on for the occasion, although I did find some men sitting on the pavement under one of the bridges who looked more normal. Ooh yes, pavement – they have them on every road! On both sides! I tried to talk to them, but they swore at me very loudly in a strange accent, so I ran away.

Then I spent all day in a meeting at the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health. That’s a big name isn’t it, children?

Before catching the train home, I had a horrible meal in a snack bar on the station. Still, now I’ve been to the Big City once, I don’t need to go again…

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