Office Politics

I occasionally mention in passing the people I work with1, so perhaps it’s time I told you about them in a bit more detail.

I share an office2 with two other managers, four computers, three filing cabinets and a printer that works sometimes. The other two human occupants are both Saints’ supporters, but they’re quite nice really, and it gives me someone to laugh at on Monday mornings in the footie season.

Graham is in charge of food safety – pest control, environmental management, stuff like that. He’s also the least computer literate person I know, and loves to keep us amused with his rants at the technology and his stories about how he got lost out on his boat at the weekend. He’s the one who brought the fart machine in to the office, and his idea of sophisticated humour is to set it off when one of us is on the phone. He can’t understand why it keeps going off when he’s on the phone – I’m wondering how long it will take him to realise he’s not the only one with a remote control for it. Oh, and he’s got a cat called Pumpkin.

Mike is in charge of the Engineering department, the people who service and maintain the equipment in the factory, and mend it when Graham’s boys have broken it. His desk is nearly as untidy as mine and he’s our resident superuser – that means he knows what to do when the computers stop working: Usually the thing to do is call Captain Mainwaring in IT (who is a whole other blog on his own). Mike’s specialist subject is booking holidays, and he has the daftest mobile phone ringtone you’ve ever heard.

And then there’s me, the talented young health and safety professional whose task it is to be the butt of Graham’s jokes: Luckily I’m way more sophisticated than he is, so I can take it, and Mike and I gang up on him anyway, at least when he’s in a mood with his computer3. I’m also the one responsible for the pile of paperwork teetering dangerously in one corner, the untidy desks, and the filing cabinet that’s going to fall through the floor some day soon. Being the youngest member of the team, I get to sit by the window which doesn’t shut – quite refreshing in the Summer, but a bit of a nuisance at this time of year, some days I don’t take my coat and scarf off all day.

1 And I’m stuck for a blog subject
2 Half a Portacabin
3 At least twice a day then

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