Light Bulb Jokes

Apologies to the non-churchy among my readers, who might do better to jump straight to paragraph three:

How many … does it take to change a light bulb?

  • Baptists: One to change the bulb, and eight to form a music group to praise the Lord for the light1
  • Charismatics: Eleven thousand, to hold a prayer meeting to pray for the recovery of the old bulb2
  • Anglo-Catholics: One to change the candle, another to light it, and one to swing the incense
  • Anglicans: CHANGE?????

Sadly, according to this news story, for parishioners at St Benet’s in Suffolk, the answer appears to be four electricians and a heck of a lot of gear: It seems that someone convinced the church that the new “Working at Heights Regulations 2005″ meant that the only way to do the job was to use four electricians and a lot of expensive scaffolding, at a cost of over 1300. It’s tempting to bash the European Union for daft new legislation – as some of the papers did yesterday – but my first question is, where was the Diocesan Health and Safety Advisor? The Regulations don’t stipulate anything of the sort, and he/she should have known that. As often happens in the world of Health and Safety3, it seems like someone with only a rudimentary grasp of the requirements has gone way over the top of what the Regulations require in the name of playing it safe.

Mind you, I also have to ask where were the congregation? Surely they’ve got someone there – or someone knows someone – who could have done it perfectly safely without anyone having to be paid?

1 And one to operate the sound desk, one to do the lights, and one to operate the Powerpoint presentation.
2 For those who don’t know me, I should say that I’m from the Charismatic tendency – so I’m only taking the mickey a little bit.
3 And also in the world of Quality Management, which was my profession before I saw the light and abandoned the Dark Arts

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