Segueing into mackerel

Ooh I’ve managed to log in, that’s a good start. Now I just need to think of something to write about.

Hello, by the way. Paul’s off at a short fat bald bloke convention or playing Humpty Dumpty in panto or something, so I’m here instead. I suppose this is the point at which I should segue into my topic. And my topic is, er… mackerel. Yes, that will do. Hmm, I’ve never segued into a mackerel before, or at least not that I’m willing to admit publicly. Perhaps this isn’t such a good idea.

I’ve got a pen holder at work. Yes, that’s a much safer topic. I can’t imagine that anyone reading this has never seen such a contraption, so you all know that they’re constructed from vertical plastic tubes of various heights, the tall ones at the back and the short ones at the front – or if you turn it round, the tall ones at the front and the short ones at the back, but then it’s not so easy to get at the stuff in the short ones because the tall ones are in the way – and that’s just fine as far as it goes. The taller tubes at the back contain pens, pencils, poison darts and other such instruments, and in the shallow compartments at the front we have erasers, pencil sharpeners and dead beetles. But what I don’t understand – and this is where I hope to draw on the massive combined intellect of you lovely people, which is why I’m writing about this here rather than on my own site, where, quite frankly, the clientele is altogether inferior – is what you’re supposed to put in the medium-heighted sections. They’re too short to comfortably support a pen, but if you put a pencil sharpener in them it’s almost impossible to retrieve without a pair of tweezers. I suppose you could keep a pair of tweezers in them, but if you’re doing that then you won’t need them so there’s not much point.

And that, you’ll be pleased to hear, is all I’ve got to say about that, so I’ll pack up my easel and clear the floor for tomorrow’s guest blogger, though I don’t know when he’s going to do it seeing as he’ll be on Oxford all day so I wouldn’t expect much.

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