Smelling Pistakes

Eye have a smelling chequer
it came with my Pea Sea
It clearly marques
Four my revue
Miss takes Aye mite knot Sea

Spellchecker – don’t you hate it? Someone was ranting about it on “The Great British Spelling Test” last week, and I agree. Apart from the fact that it translates everything into American (which is fine, if you happen to be an American), it has no idea whether the word you’ve used is the right one. As in the example above, as long as a word is a real one, it’ll get through. And I’ve never yet come across a spellchecker which recognises the word “liaise” as a real English word. Even worse is “Grammar Checker” – it marks all my sentences as being too long to check, because for some odd reason it can’t cope with subordinate clauses.

I do like the personalised bit of spellchecker, where you can set it up to automatically correct mistakes you know you commonly make. I’ve set it up to turn “becasue” into “because”, and “seperate” into “separate”, and several other mistakes I often make because I’m not a trained typist.

And finally – does anyone know how I can send that bloody animated paper clip back where he came from? Smug little wiry scumbag…

Anyway, I’m taking a few days rest from Blogging, but don’t worry – for your entertainment I have lined up a stunning array of first-class guest Bloggers:

Friday:
A pizza-scoffing, cross-dressing loon

Saturday:
Someone even balder than me – but not as short, or fat

Sunday:
It’s a mystery. Watch this space!

Monday:
The fiercest pirate in Shropshire and Grand Duchessessess of Sweden

Tuesday:
A world-famous actress

You’ll be sorry to get me back, won’t you?

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