Sense of Direction

According to this news story, our hard-pressed gubmint is to hold a summit to stamp out the vile curse of drivers being led astray by their in-car satnavs.

Now as many of you will know, I’ve been using GPS since before TomTom style devices were invented, and then TomTom since its first inception – when it was only available as software for a laptop or PDA, and the current standalone units were just a twinkle in a developer’s wallet. So I think I can claim to have the benefit of considerable experience when I offer the following technique which, if used by all drivers, would mean that satnav was never again blamed for lorries getting wedged under clearly signposted low bridges, or cars driving down rivers instead of roads. It’s a simple to use two-step system:

1) Your car, van or lorry is fitted with a big window, just in front of the steering wheel. Look through it.

In a perfect world, I could stop there and call this a one-step system. Ah well…

2) Your head is conveniently fitted with a device called a brain. Use it.

OK, accuse me of sarcasm if you like, but it isn’t difficult: if the bridge in front of you is signposted as two inches lower than your lorry, your satnav can’t change the fact that you ain’t going to get through. A satnav is just a tool, and isn’t to blame for driver stupidity, any more than my hammer is to blame if I hit my thumb.

There we are, call-me-Dave. Maybe you can cancel your satnav summit now and focus on fixing the economy. Although to judge from some of the words of wisdom emerging from politicians of all parties recently, lost motorists aren’t the only ones lacking direction.

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