M’lovely Purple Fred – whom I love very much – has insisted I tell you the following…

PF has two cats, and fine handsome specimens of the species they are too. The boy cat – Furry Fred – perhaps doesn’t have as many IQ points as the average moggy, but he’s a fine strong handsome chap, and Furry Freda is pretty and regal. In spite of them both having had the appropriate operation, F.Fred often seems to forget this fact and makes inappropriate approaches to F.Freda…which not surprisingly, she takes objection to.

So yesterday afternoon, I decided it was time F.Fred had his education improved: I sat him down and had a good old man-to-man with him. “Now listen,” I told him, “this leaping out on her when she’s not expecting it isn’t the way forward. You need to be gentle, show her that you’ve got a lovable side. Show an interest in the things that interest her: smarten yourself up a bit, show her that you’ve gone to some trouble for her”.

So far so good…and I’ll admit I may have gone slightly over the top as I warmed to my theme.
“Buy her some flowers…maybe take her to the theatre, or the opera. Find out what she likes to do, and offer to do it with her”.

At this point PF…who’d been listening with interest…couldn’t stand any more. “Paul…he’s a CAT!”

So if you see a black cat in a bow tie, and a pretty tortie in an evening dress, queueing for tickets to “Cats”, say hello…it’ll be the two furry Freds.

Comments are closed.