Parp Parp

As many of you will know, I love my Gruntmobile.
There’s just one thing I don’t like about it*…it’s got a really wimpy horn. A car that weighs two tons, and is described on the V5 as being fuelled by “heavy oil???, should go “BLAAAART??? when you press the horn button, not “peep peep???. It should be the trumpety equivalent of Jack Regan in “The Sweeny???, not Rodders in “Only Fools and Horses???**. It meets the legal requirement for being able to make a noise, but frankly I’d do better to just rev the engine, or maybe lean out of the window and shout.
So, I’m investigating suitable replacements. A pair of air horns, with compressor and fitting kit, will cost me fifteen quid from our local branch of “Bolt-On Goodies Inc???, and will certainly rack up my BLAAAART factor. I might be able to adapt the compressor so it also pumps high pressure air into the air intake, although I can’t think of any reason why I would do that. More usefully, it may be possible to blow up the tyres with it.
Mind you, the same fifteen quids will buy me a replacement set of electric horns, which ought to be easier to fit, and which are advertised as “Really Loud???.
Of course, if I wait until the next time I’m in Nottingham, fifteen quid will probably buy me a big gun, so I can tell the cyclist to get out of the way, and punish him for not doing so, all at the same time.***
Anyway, today I manned a checkpoint on the Basingstoke Big Wheel Sponsored Cycle Ride, then on the way home did the geocache Up A Lazy River, which was very nice. Now I’m very tired, so I’m going to have a Chinese takeaway, shower, and go to bed. I may even miss The Archers.
*OK, two things, if you include the really crap fuel consumption
**Sorry to our American readers, some things just don’t translate
***Bean – could you start wearing a T-Shirt that says on the back: “Don’t shoot me, I’m part of the BlogRing????

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